Little Man Dylan

Exhibit B: Babies in Bumbos

My Poor Baby

My Poor Baby, originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

Last night was a beautiful one. The power serendipitously went out in our cul-de-sac, and Beefcake, Ryder, Freakishly tall husband and I went outside to check things out. All of the cacophanous sounds of daily life had disappeared, with only the sounds of crickets chirping remaining, and the full moon as our only source of light.

We spent the next hour outside with our neighbors, chatting about secret meth labs and halo 3. We watched Ryder run after the neighborhood dog, both of them chasing each other's shadows.
There's something nice about the power being out. You actually talk to people, and you get to know them better than you ever thought you would. Camping, anyone?

Of course, it's all fun and games when your son hits the pavement with his face.

Babies in Bumbos

Send me pics of your little ones while they're still just learning how to sit in them!

I do believe that it would make us all smile if we had a collection to stare at when

we're sad...or when your child is having a tantrum and you're

wondering where the hell your patience has gone.

This would be:

Exhibit A: Babies in Bumbos

Too Much Cuteness!!!

Too Much Cuteness!!!, originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

Some Interesting RadioHead Music

Since RadioHead is quietly working on LP7 right now,

it's up to loyal fans like

THESE GUYS to give us some more....

Ryder Is Completely NORMAL

I get home from work today, and my freakishly tall husband asks me if I want to go to "Back to School" night at Goddard. He just dropped off all of his medical clearance forms, his emergency contact lists, and the long work sheet that we filled out that includes questions such as, "What is Ryder working on?", and "What does Ryder do best?", and "What does Ryder not like to do?"- and they asked him if we could attend. We had great fun filling those forms out, but it got us one step closer to the realization that Ryder will no longer be with me every single moment of every single day. So, since Ryder will be starting October 1st, this would be a great opportunity for us to personally meet his teachers, and ask about the curriculum- while they, in turn, can ask us about Ryder. We go.

But I'm hesitant. By now, you're already knowing how I feel- anxious, scared, sad, happy- just all together NOT looking forward to the separation anxiety that I'll NO DOUBT feel. And by now- you're probably sick and tired of hearing about it. I'm sick and tired of talking myself in and out of it, trust me. But..."back to school" night....=(. He's only a year and a half.....

It turned out to be a night that took most (if not all) of my anxiety away! We met the other parents of the kids in his class, and we met two of his teachers (3:1 ratio of kids:teachers). What we took away was that Ryder is COMPLETELY normal. Up until now, I thought that Ryder might be a little freakish, since he won't wear any other shoes besides his crocs- but WAIT- some of the other kids have the same freak issue. I thought he was a little freakish because he doesn't talk- but WAIT-most of the other boys in his class doesn't talk. I thought he was a little freakish because he hits me and pushes me- but WAIT- so do ALL the other boys- simply out of frustration that they CAN'T TALK. I thought he was a little freakish because he always wants to watch us cook- but WAIT- that's ALL that the other boys want to do. Weird. My son is completely normal. Thank god.

My husband and I worked out a system wherein he drops off, and I pick up. I was worried that when we drop Ryder off, he will kick and scream and yell and cry and cry and cry....which he will do...but not nearly for as long as I think. I decided I would be the picker upper, because if I dropped him off, I wouldn't be able to handle the sadness. After tonight though, I'm worried that my plan will back fire.

I'm worried that I will again be "no fun mommy", where I come to take him home- away from all of the fun.

St. Michael's Pictures

St Michaels Pictures on Flickr

I'll Miss Playing With Him Everyday...

A Little Needy..

Ryder has been offered an opening at Goddard. What sets Goddard apart is that it is not only a day care center, but a school. A school with a curriculum for every aged child, in every age appropriate room. I thought he'd be wait listed for a while, but they finally called today, and said that there is now a space for him. Do I want it? Yes and no. Am I ready for him to go to day care M-W-F? Sort of. But I'm being that crazy, over-protective mama that I never thought I'd be. Jesus. I just gotta let go, and let my baby boy grow up, and socialize.

The funny part is, is that when the opportunities come knocking, they really come. Right before the phone call from Goddard we met with a nanny. A wonderful, sweet nanny who also has an 18 month old son. She's been a nanny for 5 years, and is a nurse tech on the weekends. She's got CPR, and great references, and her son and Ryder really hit it off. Now the question is, what to do?

We're leaning towards Goddard. We absolutely without a doubt know that it's safe. There's just no question in that at all. With a nanny, you just never know..and you never know about her friends, or her husband's friends...blah blah. We have the weekend to think it over. This whole child care search process has been nuts.

I think I just need a hug. A little needy perhaps? And I wonder where my son gets it from. Or maybe its post-vacation depression.

AND, they found another aneurysm in Dad. =(. It's only 4 cms, and it's below the liver...at 5 cms they'll operate and get rid of it. Dad is bummed, mostly because he can't go back to work. He's so bored, and he doesn't know what to do with his time. You would think it'd be a no brainer, you know- enjoy your days, go fishing, relax, etc...but its just not in him. He's been out of work for four months now, and he feels so useless. Poor dad. He came over yesterday and weeded our entire back yard. Love him so much, and I just want him to be well. One day at a time.

I've been thinking about the Baby Zoo Project too. I think I'm just going to post all the pics here, with the label "Baby Zoo". I was going to wait to start another separate blog, but I think I might not be able to keep up. Plus, I just have so many pictures that I want to share now. Look for them soon.

I feel like Eyore, and I feel like I lost my tail.

Home

We went to St. Michael's this weekend.

We rented a nice, quaint, house right on the bay, with a pool, a grill, and our own personal dock to go "crabbing" off of. Close by- it was only an hour and 20 minutes or so from our house. It was the perfect long weekend getaway for everyone to pack up the kids (and what a production that is) and drive a short distance to a place that seems worlds away. Just driving through town, and you're like, "woahhhh, I just slammed into a wall!"- but in a nice sort of way. Time just kinda stops when you're with the closest friends that you know. One of them I've known for 20+ years, and some others I've known for at least 15. We were right when we said that our kids would know each other.

It was such a great weekend. Many naps on the hammock, with the Seed pulling out some string and tying it to a tree so that he could rock himself to sleep on it. Many attempts at crabbing with chicken necks- and not drumsticks (as Head on a Stick would suggest)...we caught three, one died- and the other two just got away somehow. Lots of picture taking, lots of food on the grill, lots of laughter, Off bug spray, lots of giggling and whining children, lots of baby monitors, lots of beer and smoke, and lots of happiness. Made me get to thinking of some past blog posts about moving here or there, how Maryland sucks, and how living in Tibet would somehow make your children more worldly.

Many times I've had thoughts of moving away again...perhaps to Arizona, or Colorado. But, I think that if I moved to those places, I wouldn't appreciate those places anymore. For instance; California used to be the shit. I was all things Cali and all things and totally 1000% against living at home. Why is that? I think because I knew what I had to do with my life, and I was running away from it. Hawaii, also- once I lived there, it was amazing- but I didn't appreciate it until I moved home. In my humble opinion, its travel that sets you (and your children) up for appreciation of the different states and different countries, but not necessarily moving and living there. In my humble opinion, if I moved to Amsterdam, I sooo wouldn't appreciate it. But traveling there for one or two weeks, and coming back- just tells me that there is so much more to see- elsewhere and beyond. Just traveling to St. Michael's (all one and a half hours) made me appreciate the bay. Wouldn't necessarily live there, but we've all gone in on going back in the spring- and then again in the fall- just a bi-yearly, easy peasy getaway.

It's the "getaways" that take you one more step to being content. Of course, you don't want it to end, but a greater sense of appreciation for life and the pursuit of happiness comes from it. I guess this is my plea for my friends that are far away...we didn't make a mistake by living in Maryland. We actually chose it. Sure, I've grown up here, and sure, I'm pretty familiar with everything that seems right around the corner, but its what I'm making of it...and I promise you, if you move home, it might be the same for you. I'm simply sayin, "the grass is always greener".

Moving home certainly isn't everything, and it isn't for everybody. I'm just shooting out my mouth and trying to tackle the things that have been said about Maryland. Sure, its boring (because you've lived here all of your lives), sure- there's nothing to do (but you would say the same about Morocco if you grew up in Morocco). Sure, you can't go on a surfing safari in Maryland- but did I really do that when I lived in Hawaii? Noooooooooo. Just sat on my ass and said, "damn, I'm cool. I live in Hawaii."

What am I trying to say here...hmmm lets see if I can summarize. Britney is on the verge of something horrible....and we're getting old. If you're going to move somewhere, DO it already. Time is not even thinking about stopping. All we can do is make the moments happen more often. Move to Japan, move to anywhere else but "here"...but truly, "here" is really not that bad. It's really, really not. I'm just so filled with friendship and love right now that I just wish that everyone could feel what I feel. And I know that that's a VERY LEO thing to say, but whatever. I'm just blogging.

Bottom line is, we missed those that weren't there. Perhaps if they were living at home.....

Oh My... I Can't Take It!!

Oh My... I Can't Take It!!, originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

Pavarotti - Nessun Dorma

Seems like just yesterday he sang this beautiful song at the Opening Ceremonies at the Olympics. It blew me away- even just watching it on TV, and sometimes brings some little tears to my eyes when I hear it in my car from my iPod. Ryder loved this song when he was acting up in the car. His eyes would grow big, and he would sit silent, listening to the beautiful tenor strains of voice and music coming from the speakers.

A sad day.

We'll listen to your voice forever..

LAND!

Did one of my friends put me on a mailing list that sent me a premiere invitation to see available lots to build on- near a lake in Virginia??

Eagle Pointe Shores

Lots start at $74,880. Who's with us? Scott has already drafted the blue prints for our little 3000 square foot dream home. He and I have always talked about building/designing our dream home later on..you know- when we can afford it. But the first step is always getting that premium land.

So, thank you- to whoever put us on the mailing list. We may never buy there, but it's a good starting point for us to even know how to/where to look. A nice, little, lake house would be AWESOME. Close enough to home, but far enough from home...we already envision those extra wide (12-14 inches wide) distressed hardwood floor planks with wrought iron nails....

I know Beefcake (my new nickname for M- she likes beef, and cake), and Whitey Church (AK's porn name) want land. And this one happens to be near West Virginia on the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Maybe it was Beefcake and that German who put us on the list. After all, they were going to buy 50 acres and a mule in Clarksburg. They didn't want to give us an acre. Perhaps this is their gentle way of telling us to get our own land. But it wouldn't be any fun unless we were all close together.....

Come on! Let's all go down together on October 5-7 for the exclusive VIP tour....