A Year In the Life....

We got creative in the last few days. I don't know if you can call it complete creativity really- but it was creative for us. Click on the link below- and check out Ryder's first year in photos. It's set to music- so turn up your volume!!

Ryder's First Year Slideshow

This Time Last Year..

Scott and I woke up for the last time with just the two of us in the house. This time last year, I took my last unhurried shower without my mind constantly thinking of things that I needed to do for the baby. This time last year, Scott and I ran out the door for the last time as two. This time last year, it was all about me.

This time last year, Ryder was born. This time last year, we became three.

It's such a crazy amazing thing when I think about how our lives have changed, for better or worse. Ryder came into our lives with such force- right off the bat. He wasn't waiting for a thing. I only huffed and puffed for an hour, and there he was...all 8 pounds, 8 ounces of him. And suddenly- we were a family.

I remember the last year clearly. All of the breastfeeding troubles, the endless nights wondering what we could do for him because he had colic. How he was constipated, and hadn't pooped in three days- yes, even as a newborn. How nothing would console him. How Blue curled up at the foot of our bed the first night Ryder was home, watching and wondering. Our loyal cat never left us, even though we were all deliriously awake for the whole night. How Ryder would fall asleep on me, and I wouldn't move an inch, even though I had to pee like crazy. Nope. I wasn't moving. The first time he picked his head up..the first time he rolled over...the first time he could sit up without assistance..the first time he crawled, and the first time he took his first wobbly steps. All just like yesterday. All happening so quickly, and now- he's one.

Celebrating his first birthday is a celebration of many things. Its a celebration that brings to light a moment a year ago when he popped out into the world. Its a celebration that applauds our parenting skills- in that we've miraculously nurtured and kept an infant alive for one whole year. Its also a celebration in which he might not remember, but one in which is so powerful. One year. Holy shit.

I'm so happy and thankful to have made it this far in my life to have him with me, with us. Happy Birthday Ryder! Mom and Dad love you soo sooo much. If you could toast with us, I know you would. We did it. Cheers, Baby!!

I'm Still Her Biggest Fan

I know I'm gonna get a lot of backlash for this one, but I still love Britney.

Many of you know that I've been Britney's number 1 fan since I don't know when. Since as long as I can remember, really. I still have my Britney refrigerator magnet that M gave me so long ago, and I still have my Britney flashlight. And I still listen to her tunes and sing them out loud in the car (and I never said she was a good singer. She's a good performer).

Most of my gals have been asking me what I think about Britney's new hair cut. Well, actually not asking me what I think, but telling me that Britney has lost it, she's gone, she's whacko. Sure, I've heard it all before...for the past two years maybe? Regardless of what anyone ever said, I still stood (and stand) behind Brit. I believe there is some good in her still, and I believe that she has a lot more to share with us (good or bad)!

What I think is really shitty, however, is the way the media is tossing this up to be her "great meltdown". Shaving her head, and getting two tattoos immediately afterwards is a "great meltdown"? Leave the bitch alone, for the love of god!! Sure, some actresses have shaved their heads in the past, and sure, it's all been for roles that they were going for (Demi Moore, Natalie Portman)...but there are many others out there I'm SURE that have shaved their heads for no good reason. Some might say that its a cleansing, some might say its a new beginning. Still others might say that she's lost all of her marbles and is going off of the deep end. Point is, do we really know why she did it? Nope. She could have cancer, for all we really know.

She's been in the media (negative media) since she got married for a whole 14 hours to her childhood friend. And then she married Fed Ex and well..we all know the rest. Let's not even talk about Chaotic. There was no excuse for that one. Baby slip ups (and that just sucks for her because of the attention- I mean, I know I'm not the best mom) that are scrutinized under magnifying glasses, and commando shots that just didn't make any sense (now come on..we've all gone commando at some point in our lives...we just didn't have to climb up into a Hummer that was 5 feet off of the ground, and if we DID, we certainly aren't that cool to have 50 cameras around us). Walking barefoot into public gas station bathrooms? Yeah, unbelievably nasty. But I've pissed on a subway train- how about you? I had to do it, I had to go. Maybe she did too. Point is, do we know? Nope.

I think the reason why I'm just really starting to get mad defensive for her is because I'm really starting to see what the media might actually end up doing to her. And the media is only acting in response to what the public wants. Its almost as if the public WANTS her to fuck up. WHY? They're seeking it, they're tracking it, they're smelling it. In the wake of Anna Nicole's media circus, with the million dollar ticket (Anna's BABY girl- fucking ridiculous- the baby girl has no mommy), and where to bury her remains, and what she was doing in the last hours before her death, was she taking methadone, blah blah blah... well, I'm scared that something might happen to Britney...just like that. What if she DID lose it? I certainly would be sad.

I suppose my point is just this: I still love Britney for what she was (HOT), what she is (CRAZY, ABSOLUTELY NUTS like most of my friends I know, just tryin' to be, dude), and what she still might be (if we let her). That is, if all goes well. If all doesn't go well, I for one will be very saddened, and I won't be cheering and laughing if she really does fall.

For now, she's shaved her head. What-evaz. Just leave the girl alone.

For-the-can't-help-it-but-I-have-to-peek.

This is for M.

Finally Back From Hawaii...

I feel as though we're finally settled back into the "home" swing of things. We got back from Hawaii last week, and I feel like it has literally taken me and my family this long to recuperate. My husband and I have been sleeping in as late was we can, while Ryder pretty much has been getting up early- and doesn't give two crackers about what we think of that.

The Hawaii trip has been nuts, and only now do I have the energy to blog about it. I've seen most of our traveling buddies since we got back, and the resounding comment about our vacation has been the same: "Jet lag sucks, and what the hell happened?". Here are some highlights (or lowlights) of our pacific invasion...

1. Baby Einstein saving our asses for the plane ride to the Aloha state.
2. GD believing she lost her wallet seconds before she boards the plane out of Baltimore.
3. Sadly, GD having a miscarriage on her first day in the Aloha state.
4. GD ready to drink to oblivion, and party like the rock star that she is! She rocks!
5. Wanting to sleep at 7 in the evening. Every night.
6. Getting up at 4 am. Every morning.
7. Eggs, eggs and more eggs.
8. The sunset, the perfect moment with friends and family.
9. "Over the Rainbow" by Iz plays on the radio- cliche' but who cares? The words ring true.
10. Nausea, nausea and more nausea.
11. Puking, puking and more puking. AK, Chief Sherpa and myself. Puking. Why? Unknown.
12. VV goes into the hospital because she's bleeding. Jesus. It's all good. She too, is a rock star.
13. Two words. Tita Mina.
14. Me crying as I turned the corner of Walina, where my old apartment used to be.
15. PT making fun of me.
16. Ryder hating the beach.
17. Ryder loving the beach.
18. CW and his nightmares after sleeping in the sun. Wait- after baking in the sun, while asleep.
19. MA eating. And eating. And eating.
20. AK throwing up ALL THE WAY HOME.

That just about does it. It is good to be home, now that we're settled. Would I do it again? YES! But I needed a break from being tired, and nauseous, and just exhausted...who knew that it would take so much out of me? I'm just getting old.

Ryder is certainly back in the saddle again, that's for sure.

Wintery Mix

We're expecting a "wintery mix" of crap tomorrow into Wednesday. What joy. What fun. That's what sucks about the weather around here....we never get dumped on- we just get a "wintery mix" of shit (ie rain, sleet, ice). I mean, if its going to be cold, why can't it just snow? And we always miss the snow dumps by around 100 miles. Anything to the north or west of us, by only about 100 miles, gets dumped on.

Oh well. Who cares. I'm still.......

here.

Hawaiian Sunset

Look how beautiful...

This picture was taken during one of my favorite moments during our stay in Hawaii. It brought tears to my eyes..OK, it brought buckets of tears to my eyes. All of my dearest friends, and my husband and son, and the rest of Waikiki beach lining up on the sand to watch the sun settle in for the night.

It's amazing how fast the sun sets. In perspective, you can see how fast the world turns- right in those last seconds. Time is fleeting, ladies and gentlemen. Grab it now, and live...