This Time Last Year..

Scott and I woke up for the last time with just the two of us in the house. This time last year, I took my last unhurried shower without my mind constantly thinking of things that I needed to do for the baby. This time last year, Scott and I ran out the door for the last time as two. This time last year, it was all about me.

This time last year, Ryder was born. This time last year, we became three.

It's such a crazy amazing thing when I think about how our lives have changed, for better or worse. Ryder came into our lives with such force- right off the bat. He wasn't waiting for a thing. I only huffed and puffed for an hour, and there he was...all 8 pounds, 8 ounces of him. And suddenly- we were a family.

I remember the last year clearly. All of the breastfeeding troubles, the endless nights wondering what we could do for him because he had colic. How he was constipated, and hadn't pooped in three days- yes, even as a newborn. How nothing would console him. How Blue curled up at the foot of our bed the first night Ryder was home, watching and wondering. Our loyal cat never left us, even though we were all deliriously awake for the whole night. How Ryder would fall asleep on me, and I wouldn't move an inch, even though I had to pee like crazy. Nope. I wasn't moving. The first time he picked his head up..the first time he rolled over...the first time he could sit up without assistance..the first time he crawled, and the first time he took his first wobbly steps. All just like yesterday. All happening so quickly, and now- he's one.

Celebrating his first birthday is a celebration of many things. Its a celebration that brings to light a moment a year ago when he popped out into the world. Its a celebration that applauds our parenting skills- in that we've miraculously nurtured and kept an infant alive for one whole year. Its also a celebration in which he might not remember, but one in which is so powerful. One year. Holy shit.

I'm so happy and thankful to have made it this far in my life to have him with me, with us. Happy Birthday Ryder! Mom and Dad love you soo sooo much. If you could toast with us, I know you would. We did it. Cheers, Baby!!