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The Season Finale...
Put together every curse word and exclamation in the dictionary, and you have a version of me screaming during the show. It goes something like this...holylord! holy crap! Shit! Whatthehell? Oh my god oh my god oh my god! WHAT? Noooooo. Sweet Mother of Science! Jesus christ! No WAY! SHUT. UP. Fuck. I love Sayid. MOTHER OF GOD! Dammmnnnnnn. Shit! Woah.
They did it. It moved.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
LOST
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Dreaming to Be There Again with You....
Europe Slideshow from gerardo on Vimeo.
When I told the Seed that I was working on a Slideshow- and that I was going to be using the Comcast Photoshow Program like I always do- he scoffed. "No freakn way, dude."
He did better. Better than any program could've done. He rules.
This is only some of my favorite pics from Venice and Como. All the others will be posted on Flickr at some point. The Seed is working on another slideshow that are only photos from the wedding- he should have that up soon too.
Makes me wanna go back....let's go..
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Chapter Two: A Reclamation!
"At the first safe location to turn around, please turn around."
"DAMMMNIIITTT".
"At the first safe location, ahh you can ahh suck it."
"Prepare to turn right."
"WHEEERRRREEEE"???
"Turn right". (this is where we would see, let's say, the LAKE on our right).
"At the first safe location to turn around, please turn around."
"FUUUCKKK YOU"!
"I am a dah GPSah, and I ah quitah".
The GPS Navigational System kinda sucked a little in Lake Como. We must have driven past our hotel about 10 times. It didn't help that the hotel name had been taken down weeks ago for repairs. So there it stood- as we passed by it 10 times, beautiful- stately- and unmarked. Even the Freakishly Tall Husband couldn't take it anymore. For those of you who know him, you surely know that he has some MONSTER patience. Well, he must- to be married to me, but anyway. The beauty that was Lake Como had already lost its lure, and we were at that point just ready to get to our room to check in. It was a scene out of National Lampoon's European Vacation, except that it was the lake (and not Big Ben, Parliament), as we drove by it on the right, only to turn around, and see it from the left hand side. "Look guys! Lake Como!".
Driving from Venice to Como was a nice little car ride. Alot of tolls, but not too bad altogether. The AutoStops were a site to see though, with restaurant style meals and full, fresh service deli's. Even the espresso's and cappuccino's were served on real china. With real silver. But at a bar that's seemingly like someplace you'd buy a beer and a hot dog. The coffee here was meant to be savored, and sipped, and finished in one sitting. There is no such thing as a Starbuck's "on the go" coffee. If you ask anyone for a coffee "to go"..you're surely bizarre.
We finally get to the Lake, and to get to it, you must first drive through an overpass tunnel thing that cuts through a mountain, and then- as you clear the tunnel, you see it. Glistening, with little houses and towns nestled into its sides, with Jurassic Park-like mountains still with snow on its peaks holding the water together. It was gorgeous. I think all of us in the car let out a sigh...it didn't seem real. This is where The Clooney lives. This is where the last Bond got the girl. This is Queen Amidala's home. Yes, it's THAT beautiful. Sure is.
Once we found our hotel, the Grande Hotel Cadenabbia, we settled in immediately. How could you not- with Beefcake and the German in the room on our left, and the in laws on the right of us. In front of us, was a small road that we had driven up and down about 10 times, and then..the Lake. Clear, blue, deep (with snakes), and happy to be hosting sailboats on this most beautiful day. We find out that Joo, Emma, Gaston, and Anthony are staying right below us, and as we unpack our things, we do so with urgency because we know that there is nothing left to do but DRINK and relax with friends. We hook up with the bride to be and the groom to be, and the rest of the bunch and head out to dinner (a spot that we would come to know and love because that would be the only dinner spot near us open past 9pm).
After dinner we head back to Joo and Anthony's room, and settle in for more drinks while we wait for the rest of the gang to meet up with us. The rest of the gang consists of 1 Sherpa, 1 Mench, 1 Foodie Monster, and 1 woman who is forever sleuthing for tasty places to eat (and she doesn't quit here in Como, either). They finally show up with a BANG! And after a ton of hugs and kisses and just all around giddy excitement (and after a few glasses of champagne and absinthe), there is a loud knock on the door. It's the Nightwatchman. He's very angry. He tells us that we should keep it down (and we try, we really do try, but.....it was the Sherp's fault). Mind you, its only 11 pm.. VERY EARLY by wasted stupid American standards.
There is another loud knock at the door. It's the Nightwatchman again. This time his face is red. His veins are bulging. There has been a "RECLAMATION!" and the "POLIZIA!" will soon be here. Oh damn. We need to go. This is where it gets crazy. We start out as a big, giant, gaggle of crazy Americans trying to leave a very quiet building. But we're just loud. Loud LOUD LOUD. Can't help it. We try to go the hotel bar, but its on its way to being closed!!! The Sherpa stares at some peanuts on the table and screams, "those NUTS LOOK GOOD! I just want some nuts (she's just hungry)". OK. We should leave here too. We decide that it would be best if we all just went to the house that Sherpa had rented, and continue to party on there. We split. The town of Cadennabbia is clearly not ready for the likes of us.
As we try to get down the steps, we hear the Nightwatchman, on his way UP the steps as we are trying to head down. We get disoriented. We get a little confused. Some of us are ducking into different floors to avoid him. Some of us make our way past him to get down to the lobby. Some of us confront him head on. That would be Beefcake. "We're GOING." He screams gibberish in Italian, and it sounds something like this: "italianitalianitalianitalianitalianMEXICANS". He thought we were Mexicans!! Somehow we make it down. But the Freakishly Tall Husband has gone back in to get the Seed's suitcase...ohhh crap. Good thing for Foodie Monster's cell phone. It's been a while. He finally makes it out intact- but not after being chased up the steps by the guy, and not after hiding in the room for a while til all was clear. Meanwhile the rest of us are huddled in the parking lot, sometimes ducking every now and then because we can see the guy coming in and out of the hotel lobby...just to make sure we've all gone. Jeez. Us crazy Americans. Or Mexicans.
The following day was peaceful and beautiful with more picture taking. We went to explore Bellagio, a short ferry ride across the lake. The Seed and the FoodieMonster pick up the Dentist and the Sis. We have Bellini's by the lake, do some window shopping, and think about the upcoming wedding. We have some very yummy gelato. MMMMmm gelato. I miss gelato. Columbia Mall in Maryland has a very nice Gelatoria- maybe I'll go there when I'm done posting this- but I digress.
We finally meet up with everyone again, and have a nice dinner at the same place as the night before. It's time to meet up with the Bride and Groom's family at the hotel bar for some pre-wedding festivities, and we're ready to go. Except that we're met at the front door by the Nightwatchman. Again. He won't let us in. He wants to know what rooms we're all staying in, as only hotel guests are allowed to pass through the front door. He points to the Seed. "SHE does not have a room here." Poor Seed. We explain that we are here to celebrate a wedding, and we need to get to the bar. "No stopping, room are for sleeping. NO ROOM, NO STAY!". Yeah, yeah, sure, sure! He finally lets us all pass. Thankfully we make it up to the party, where Beefcake's dad is cuddling with a bottle of whiskey. We meet other wedding attendees, mostly from Germany- and we're all getting excited for the next day.
Of course, afterwards we're back at the Sherp's rented villa, and as usual, partying like we have no kids. I can't tell you all of it, but you can use your imagination. It involves things like sausage, cake, taint, getting drunk, flying birds, German beer, eating ALOT, movie quotes, shaving faces, balls, and well- other unmentionables.
I think we're ready for the wedding now.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Chapter One: Flying Sucks but Venice Makes it Worth IT.
How was your trip? Was it fabulous? What was your favorite part? Did you see any naked boobs in Cannes? How cute are the kids when they speak in a different language? How was your flight? Did you lose any luggage? How is the Sherpa? How was the wedding? Did Beefcake look beautiful? Are you moving there now? Was Venice a dream? Did you take a lot of pictures? Was it as hard as you thought it would be to leave Ryder? What did you bring back for me? How was the FOOD? Is the coffee better over there? How long will the newlyweds be on their honeymoon? Would you visit again? Did you make out with Johnny Depp? When will you send hate mail to Iberia Airlines?
The questions just keep coming. I'm still in shock, LEAVE ME ALONE! I kid I kid. I want to answer all these questions in one complete post. But I know I'm not going to be able to. I'm just not that good. I can tell you that I have the post vacation blues, along with a bad cold. The cold really started after I puked my brains out in a bucket (on the wedding night) and the vomit made its way up my nostrils and out my nose- thereby burning the soft mucous membranes in my gentle, wide, nose with acid from my stomach. I coughed all the way to Cannes. Awesome. Very sexy. Oh you wanna know what's sexy? The Sherpa cleaning my vomit. As usual. God, she's good. Yes, she's just THAT good.
Where to begin? I guess with Iberia Air. They can SUCK MY boob. Our flight was delayed for 15 HOURS and not cancelled (because- if you're a savvy traveler you would know that if they cancel it, they're obligated to put you immediately on another flight), and so we got ourselves a free hotel room at the Crown Plaza and got drunk with a nice, old couple from Mexico City, and another couple celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary with a trip to Croatia. I was so drunk and mad that evening (because we went through the hardship of leaving our son, and we'd miss a whole day of our two week extravaganza) that I passed out in my clothes, only to wake up the next morning, and not shower or brush my hair because I thought I'd forgotten my hairbrush. I resigned to the fact that I didn't have it without really looking, and..at 7am the next morning, I brushed my teeth- flipped my head upside down and gave it a good shake...and voila'! Instant sexy bedhead (on purpose of course).
The next morning Iberia was so retarded that they put the wrong date on my boarding pass after waiting in line for two hours to check in, so that in the line at the security (where they have men with guns), a surly security guy tried to turn me away and go back out to the check in counter to get it fixed. This is where I LOSE MY SHIT. I say, in my most furious, spoiled American speak, "I'm NOT GOING back out there. Our FLIGHT WAS DELAYED FOR 15 HOURS that's why the date is STILL YESTERDAY you FUCKTARD (thank you Browser, I really like that word)!!!" My husband is pulling me back at this point...the security guy is not cooperating. "I want to talk to your manager NOW!" ..blink blink.."No. You have to go back and get that fixed."...."NO. I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE, I'm going to miss my flight, and I'M NOT GOING to go back there to get it fixed.".....Manager comes up to us..my husband now has his forearm across my chest..whispering, "it's ok. it's gonna be ok." Manager looks at our boarding passes, looks at us, and says, "Iberia. Yeah. Let them through."
One day you all will see the letter we will write to Iberia- with our list of grievances, because believe me. Delaying our flight and the boarding pass error is small potatoes compared to the prior night we had had with them- trying to get a flight out. Sadly the couple on their 10th anniversary cancelled their vacation plans- a man missed his wedding, and many other poor souls flying Iberia had it worse.
Oh, you WILL see the letter.
Shew. With that out of the way, Venice, or shall we say, Venizia, was beautiful. Stunning. Unreal. I may have to say that it was my favorite place out of all three places that we had visited. We stayed right on the Grand Canal, and our apartment had old school storm shutters that the Seed loved, whereby he immediately drank some absinthe and threw them open at 3am in the morning, screaming, "Bonjourno"!!! The location was perfecto- right next to the boat taxi's, which were right next to the bus stops. Also of note, the Seed wants to know how you say, "big" in Italian. Anyone dare to take a guess?
We walked everywhere. We spent days wandering, exploring, and getting lost. We walked from one end of Venice to another. But we did take a water taxi to the Piazza San Marco...and saw the pigeon infested grand square- got tons of pics with children and the flying rats on their heads. Stared dreamily at the Basilica Di San Marco, and the Ponte Dei Sospiri (AKA the Bridge of Sighs- not the Bridge of Size). So many pictures. Soo soo much to show you. I'm working on it. RELAX! Take it easy. The food? So good that I wouldn't begin to do it any justice by blogging about it. I'm not that good at describing food. But it was good.
We spent evenings drinking and walking the streets of Venice taking photos with the Seed, his Sis, and the Dentist. We learned that saying "Ciao" meant not only "Goodbye"- but "Hello" as well. Like, "Aloha". Neat. We became regulars at an Asian owned restaurant/bar, and I fell in love with the Italian Espresso. We drank absinthe. We became regulars at the liquor store, where we knew the clerks name (Antonio). I found my hairbrush! The freakishly tall husband nearly teared at the first fresh Italian sandwich that he ate (prosciutto, mozzarella and tomato). The Seed asked for Meatballs (note to self: meatballs are uncommon in Italy). Upon landing, the Dentist texts, saying..."I'm here. What do I do"? I try to convince the Sis to take a Gondola ride with just me, cause the guys won't pay 60 euro for one. We agree in the end that it would be stupid. And then drink some more. We buy my Dad and Ryder matching track suits that screams, "Italia"!
The Seed, the husband and I set out in a rented Fiat Punto for Lake Como after three days in Venice. We are ready to go, but scared to be leaving the Dentist and the Sis to fend for themselves without us (they'll be leaving the next day). But, we decide that they will be alright, and well- tough shit- you're ON YOUR OWN!! See ya's! Nah- kidding. We already say we'll miss them, and we can't wait to see each other again in Como. In Como- where The German and Beefcake, the Sherpa, the Mench, FoodieMonster, and that wife of his...Em, Joo, Gaston, Riss, Ryan and Anthony await. Where a marriage will take place, where two will become one. CHEESE! Como...where we will get chased...kicked out of..
OK. We'll stop here.
PS- a picture slideshow is in the works. please be patient. you know who you are. i love my girls.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Nothing Short of Extraordinary
Ahh Beautiful Venice...
Ahh Lake Como from our room ...
Sigh...Wondrous Wedding...More to Come...Ciao Bella
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