And the Winner is...

THE SEED!!! Dun dun da dahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Yeah, we knew he'd win.

Whatever. He deserves the 20 bucks from each of us!

So here is some seriousness: WE collectively lost 120 pounds. And that is not including the German. Is that insane or what?? We built a Sherpa and an extra arm. We built a full person with the fat that we all lost. Fuckn nuts you crazy assholes!! Good job! We are now officially ready for Italy.

I would also like to make special note of the UNSUNG HERO in this game...Browser Metrics. He faithfully, every week- starting from week one....FAITHFULLY sent in his numbers to me, I never had to bug him, or pester him, or make rude phone calls right before bed! He also never complained, called this game "stupid", or "fucking unjust"....and he was always in last place. A true competitor! He ALSO gave us the Fat War Calculator. I mean really. He rules.

Week 5 Standings - Updated

Slowly passing out - for those of you who didn't send me your numbers yet, post them in the comments section if you so desire. :) Cheers!

Week 4 Standings

3 weeks left to go!

(Actually I lie...it's only a week and a half left til that final weigh in on the 21st). Crazy.

Week 3 Standings

"Shut the hell up, I'm going to go eat my cheesesteak now" - The Sherp

Week 2 Standings - Updated

Ohhh, VV moved up in standings! Congrats! It ain't over...The Seed is creeping up on FoodieMonster..and shew, its close in the midpack, with everyone off of each other by a tenth or so!!!

A month left! This should be good...Keep it up everyone!

Oh, The Sherp is Beating You too!

Oh, The Sherp is Beating You too!, originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

And the guy on the right isn't even playing. But if he was, I'm sure he'd be beating you too!

Yup.

Yup., originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

P is beating you too.

Oh Look Sassy Pants!!

Oh Look Sassy Pants!!, originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

Here's the Seed's sis. She's beating you too!

Oh Look! Here is The Seed

Oh Look! Here is The Seed, originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

Beating You!!!

Losing Makes People Very Angry

Losing Makes People Very Angry, originally uploaded by Blue Ryder.

Add the word FAT to it, and you have a very angry Ms. Sassy Pants!

Oh look! Here is Beefcake and I, beating you!!!!

Competition Analysis - by the Freakishly Tall Husband

The Chipmunk lost 2.64% of his body weight in a week. He obtained a huge TFL because he’s been working out for only a week. His number is impressive and I think it’s got the rest of the competitors worried. But look at a few of the people who have been working out much longer.

• The Seed – Lost just shy of 5% of his body weight in his 5th week of working out. TFL increased 242%! That’s a ridiculous change…he’s the one everyone should be watching out for.


• Sassy – Lost just under 2% of her body weight this week. TFL increased 51% in her 7th week working out. Those numbers are really impressive considering she’s been working out for so long.


• P – TFL increased 57% in a week.


• BR – She hit a plateau this week and didn’t lose any more weight. Her TFL dropped by almost 15%.


• Sherpa – Despite her 8 hour workouts, personal trainer, 300 calorie a day schedule, her TFL dropped either 7% or 25% (depends on which of her initial TFL calculations was correct).
  
  (I’m missing total time spent working out for most of you though, so my analyses aren’t very complete.)

This competition is still wide open. Chipmunk will most likely peak after that large first week weight loss. If he loses no more weight this week, his TFL drops in half! That would put him in third place in the current standings. Having just started out, he can post huge numbers, but they can drop just as fast.

I expect the Seed to slow his climb as well based on his huge number this week, but since he’s been working out longer, his TFL won’t be affected as much.

And I think there are a few people midpack who might just throw a few surprises into this competition. I’m not ready to place my bet on a winner yet. This competition still feels pretty wide open to me.

The Ludovician Swims After Me as I Run.....

The Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall has been on my mind since I picked it up on this day last week. I flew through all 428 pages in 5 days. I couldn't put it down, I couldn't stop reading. It's not the type of book I usually go for, and in fact, I'd almost say that it's a Man book. It's not fluffy, or touchy feeling in a feminine way (although it IS touchy feely), and it's sorta technical, in a manly man way. I dug it. That's all I'm going to say about it, because The Seed is reading it now too- and I don't want to give anything away for him. But if any of you are looking for a mind-fuck of a read- a read that's fast, crazy, and different, this book is for you. OR, you could wait til that long plane ride to Europe. This is IT. This could be the first book in the Blue Ryder Book Club. Because this a book that I NEED to discuss with someone.

With that said, I'd like to turn the focus of this post on to our FAT WAR. Based on all the comments posted from the new Fat War standings, is it safe to say that everyone freakin QUIT? What a bunch of jokers!! Bring on the butter?? What a bunch of pansies!! I know that there is a possibility that those who've been working out longer won't win...but, just imagine how hot you'll all look regardless!!! We ALL WIN!! Think of all the baby fat, or just plain old fat, that will melt away with each hour at the gym. Imagine yourself being sooooo in shape that you can run a 5K, or a 10K, effortlessly (or not so effortlessly if a Ludovician is swimming after your big ass), and feel sooo damn proud of yourself for slowly building the framework for long term fitness? Also, if everyone quit, what does that mean for the Chipmunk? Ahem- the CLEAR winner so far. All he gets is a measly two dollars from me, cause everyone quit? BOHRING.

You also must consider- for those of you who have hit a plateau, or are scared of hitting a plateau, time to switch it up a bit, you know? This means that, Browser- instead of riding your bike, start running. This means that I, instead of running, should hop on a bike (my secret weapon in the last week of the competition- damn, not so secret anymore). You'll see the pounds drop off again, and when you hit yet another plateau, head to the weights. Or swimming, or rowing, or all of the above, and then yoga. I'm just sayin that there are more ways than one to skin a cat (for example- using a shotgun instead of poison). Anyway, keep on going girls and boys...because I'd love to see the collective number of pounds lost at the end of the competition....like, did we lose so much weight collectively that we made another Sherpa???

And definitely, by all means, regardless- BRING on the oil. There will be Blue Ryder approved swim wear for the men involved. Nothing but Speedos. I think that in itself will make this effort all the more satisfying. I think. That REALLY could backfire as well. But, I guess we'll take that issue head on as it comes.

Whatdoyasay??? Who's with me??

Week 1 Standings

Wow, has the Chipmunk eaten anything all week? He must be hungry.

Fat War Logic

Additional thoughts:

1. You can take any weight loss miracle pill.
2. You don't have to eat anything at all.
3. You can become anorexic or bulemic, if you wish.
4. You can run yourself into a wall, and blow out your knee.
5. You can sabotage your buddies drinking water by adding fat to it.
6. You can smoke. Now- we all know what that does to our appetite.
7. You can beat each other up.
8. You can play dumb while doing your calculations.
9. You can sit in a hot tub all day while the fat oozes out of your pores.
10. You can run with plastic wrapped around your body so you sweat more. Oh wait. Sherpa's doing that- along with the 1200 cal/per day plan.

$200 bills are waiting. How far will we go? Once we get to Italy, boy. Are we gonna have a ton of pictures that look like this:

But instead of being drunk, we'll be hungry. This will merely be us at the sight of food.

Thank You, BROWSER!

Fat War Calculator

This is for all the dummies who have "Math Incompetence".

Guess who we don't need anymore?

Initial Standings

A Ceramical Explanation - By the Freakishly Tall Husband

There have been a lot of comments regarding the measurement system that has been instituted for this competition. I will attempt to address them all…

Cheating
OK, so we knew this would be an issue. And the only real way to avoid them is to require all future weigh-ins to be notarized. So go find your local notary public and invite them to your house weekly to weigh you in your skivvies.

Math Incompetence
For the sake of avoiding any errors in calculations, all contestants must now provide their actual starting weight and weekly weight loss figures to the freakishly tall husband. They will not be posted, except when my ceramical, math, or spreadsheet skills are questioned. As an alternative, I can provide a spreadsheet to all contestants that will perform these calculations automatically. Maybe Browser can write me a Java applet to do it on-line.

Required Contestant Information
All contestants must provide their weight loss percentage (for those of you who don’t remember, that is your current weight divided by your starting weight) as well as the length of time you have been working out (in weeks). Posting only your TFL is not adequate if I am to compile weekly results. In addition, beginning at the end of week 1 of the competition, you must submit your current weight loss percentage (for those of you who forgot already, that is your current weight divided by your starting weight). I will use that number, along with the time you have been working out, to calculate TFL.

Questions about the Measurement System
There are many different ways of quantifying weight loss for this type of competition. I chose to use a weight loss percentage, and then normalize it based on time spent working out. This method has the benefits of giving individuals of all sizes a shot at winning. While it is true that a 200 lb man losing 5 pounds has a lower weight loss percentage (2.5%) than a 100 lb woman losing 5 pounds (5.0%), it is an accepted fact that it is easier for the 200 lb man to lose 5 pounds just due to the amount of weight they are carrying. Taking it one step further, for a 5 pound woman to lose 5 pounds would be impossible! But for a 500 lb man to lose 5 pounds would require barely any effort.

In addition, normalizing the results by considering time spent working out increases the fairness. A person who has been working out for a year will easily lose more weight than a person working out for only a week. The addition of time into the calculation normalizes the individuals. The detriment to this method is that is gives individuals who have just started working out an advantage, as it is true that the highest weekly weight losses occur in the early weeks when people begin working out. However, since all of the current contestants have been working out for at least 6 weeks, this advantage is minimized.

The competition could be refined to instead consider body mass index (BMI) and use the reduction in BMI to calculate the winner. However, this is slightly more difficult to calculate (of course I could still perform these calculations), and would require contestants to provide me with actual weights weekly to perform the calculations. Of course, these would be held in secrecy (unless my calculations are questioned further, at which point your actual weight will be posted on multiple internet sites and on the wall of bathroom stalls all across the world).

However, measuring BMI has its drawbacks as well. For muscular individuals, it overestimates body fat and may hinder their results in the competition. In addition, since women tend to have more body fat then men, this measurement system can provide inaccurate results for them as well.

Additional measurement systems could be used such as skinfold thickness measurements, waist measurements, underwater weighing, or bioelectrical impedance. However, these measurements are much more difficult to perform and may required specialized equipment so they have been ignored.

If you have any additional questions or concerns, feel free to post them.

Competition Calculations

There have been tons of questions on how to calculate this stuff. Therefore, I give you.......

Ceramical Notes from the Freakishly Tall Husband:

The winner of the weight loss competition will be the person with the highest “Total Fat Loss Average” (TFL).

To reduce embarrassment, no one’s actual weight will be posted. Instead, weight loss will be measured based on % of body weight lost. This % will be based on your original weight when you began working out.

Since everyone began working out at different times, a system needed to be put in place to “even out the playing field”. So results will be normalized based on total time working out. The normalized results will be your TFL.

Obviously, I have a spreadsheet to perform all the calculations. Here are the equations we’ll use:

Here is an example:

• Joe has been working out since January 14, 2008.
• Joe has lost 10 pounds as of today.
• Joe originally weighed 217 pounds (on January 14)
• Joe’s % body weight lost would be (10 lb / 217 lb x 100%) = 4.6%
• Joe has been working out for (March 10 – January 14) = 8 weeks
• Joe’s TFL is (4.6% / 8 weeks) = 0.58

When you enter the competition, you will need to provide your % body weight lost and amount of time working out. I will calculate TFL from that, and use that information, along with your weekly % body weight lost, to display a kind of running average.

Example continued:

• On week 1 of the competition, Joe weighs himself and determines he has now lost a total of 12 pounds.
• He reports his calculated % body weight lost to Blue Ryder – 5.5%
• Blue Ryder would calculate his updated TFL (5.5% / 9 weeks) – 0.61

Everyone’s results will be compiled weekly and I’ll get them to Blue Ryder to post. The weekly update posts will show who’s in the lead, and who needs to increase the incline on the treadmill!

Whoever has the highest updated TFL at the end of the competition wins!!!

It's On!

After careful consideration this weekend (over lots of shots), the FAT WAR rules are as follows:

1. Total Fat Loss (TFL) will be measured in % of weight loss, divided by total time that you have been working out. For example: If you originally weighed 100 pounds, and have lost 10 pounds in three months, your TFL would be 3.33% ((10/100)/3).

2. I need a starting point to which you'll be measured. For example: I started working out on 1/21/08- giving me 7 weeks to today 3/10/08.

3. I need a percent lost to this point. For example: I lost 7 pounds total since I started, so I lost 5.0% of FAT. (We've decided not to bother posting weight- no need to embarrass ourselves).

4. Weigh yourself on Mondays. Get your info to me by Tuesday night, and I'll do weekly postings of TFL on Wednesdays (after I get my husband to do an excel spreadsheet for us). This way you can see your ranking every week. And then not eat the rest of the week and do yoga in a sweat tent to get where you need to/want to be.

5. The end date, and the final weigh in will be Monday, April 21st (my freakishly tall husband's birthday). That means you have 6 weeks to total hotness, and 6 weeks to get greasy and oiled up for Beefcake's Mrs. Universe show down. Oh, and her wedding, of course.

6. If you don't know your exact original weight, and exact starting date of when you started working out, then you'll have to estimate HONESTLY.

7. The Big Win: The more people who participate, the bigger the win. Everyone OK with smacking down 20 bucks for the winner? If not, gimme an alternative- I'm up for suggestions. But clearly, we gotta make this competitive.

8. And, a final note. This is all for our own good. It's time.

Alrighty then! HAVE A GOOD WORKOUT! And Good Luck!

At War with our Fatness

In the last six weeks, I've lost 7 pounds. I did lose 9 at one point, but after Ryder's birthday weekend, I went back up two pounds. I'm only saying this because we've all wanted some friendly competition, and upon being urged by the Sherpa, and Sassy Pants, and the Man in the Basement, we've decided that we're going to do our own Biggest Loser Contest.

I'm still trying to work out all of the details. Anyone else is urged to join us, and Beefcake certainly comes to mind- seeing as how this is all her fault in the first place- I mean, planning a wedding in Italy will throw everyone into a weight loss tizzy. I'm still not sure how to go about it, like- should it just be over time? And, the best part- what will the biggest loser win? And how will we prove that the Sherpa isn't cheating?

I can tell you this though- over the last six weeks, running has become an old friend. I love the feeling, and I've missed it. I'm definitely glad to be taking care of myself again. There is nothing like the feeling of smooth, sometimes nearly effortless running because all of the endorphins are pushing you through that last minute, that last quarter mile. I love the mental aspect of it, and I love the feeling of accomplishment. It didn't start out that way, hell no. It took me six weeks to get here. I remember going to the gym for the first time in two years...standing on that god forsaken gym scale (which weighs you more heavily by adding four extra pounds than your home scale) and nearly fainting of the grossness that was my fat. I remember cussing to the chipper front desk clerk when she checked my ID card and said, "have a good work out". I was all, "blow it out your sidehole".

But I've never felt better. And you can too! So, my questions are- if we're going to do this, you have to post your weight. And, you have to be honest....(this means YOU Sherp). And, we'll have to decide on the weigh in day. And over how long? And does this exclude me, cause I've been tasked to organize this, and come up with the prize for the winner? Or should we all go in for the prize for the winner? Anywho, email me or post your thoughts. Let's get this started.

Italian hotties are waiting (for the Man in the Basement).