Five Simple Rules to be Happy

First, a little background info:

There are 9 of us renting a 4 bedroom house in Hawaii when we go next week! One of the rooms has two twin beds in it, and not one of us wants to take that one. So, we were trying to figure out how to go about dividing the rooms such that one couple doesn't have to take the short end of the stick. Unfortunately, unavoidable. So- we decided that whoever takes the room with the twin beds will be treated to something nice by the rest of the house...so that the twin beds won't be that shitty. Got that?

So, AK forwards me this beautiful chain email regarding life, and the way you should live it:

This is AWESOME....something we should all remember.

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. "I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. "Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it."

"It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Pass this message to 7 people except me. You will receive a miracle tomorrow.

Now, STOP! Did you hear what I just said. You WILL receive a miracle tomorrow. So send it right now!

And I reply:

Awww, cool AK! What a sweet forward. You should show us all how you learn from this email and take the room with the twin beds in Hawaii.

LLLOOLLOLLOLLLOLLL......*tear*.....shew.

AK:

As a matter of fact K and I have discussed it and we don't care if we have to take that room or not. We're just happy to be going. So if no one else wants it (which I'm assuming they don't) we'll take it. So Ha T! P.S.- T said she was going to buy whoever took that room dinner and surf lessons, looks like we win! So for dinner I'll be having Filet and a bottle of wine, which K will drink most of, I'll have a few sips. K will take the surf lessons. Thanks T!

Me:

Thank goodness we love each other so much. One of these days, one of us is going to get seriously beat up. Anyway- yes! OF course whoever takes the twins is going to get the short end of the stick, and of COURSE we'll (as in the rest of the house, not just me) treat you to something nice...but did I really say dinner AND surf lessons? I don't think so.

But thank you very much for taking one for the team!!

AK:

You always underestimate my "team playerness". And no you did not say both...you're sharp T.

Me:

Well if I were you I would definately try to take everyone to the bank. Sooo....nice try.

MA:

Actually, you guys are all suckers 'cause I blew the 4 grand of the house depsosit on Louis Vuitton luggage set.

Me:

You whore.

MA:

Oh, but there is PLENTY of room to sleep in those! The trunks are very roomy. Plus Chief Sherpa A can fit in the rolling carry-on.

Me:

What I wouldn't pay to see her stuffed in a Louis Viutton rolling carry-on.

AK:

Aw poor Chief Sherpa A! (hilarious visual though) I don't even doubt for a second that she would do it, if it meant a free trip.

Chief Sherpa A:

Shit, I'll get in the rolling carry-on, and I'll b rollin that shit back to mah crib..

So, the five simple rules to be happy?

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

I don't think any of us bitches has it in us.