Must Have Been the Holy Water.

Ryder got a bunch of beautiful presents for his birthday party and baptism last week. He also got himself sick with a nasty ass virus that is flying around the kid's shoulders these days. To all of you kiddies who've attended Ryder's party, and have gotten ill, I'm sooo desperately sorry. I say desperately because I'm losing my mind over the little bear cub, and I'm sure this hasn't been the happiest of weeks for you too. JD, Aiden, Ryder, Iz, Luna, and Sophia all came down with something, whether it be diarrhea, fevers, or a nasty cold virus.

Ryder showed no signs of illness until Thursday, when he developed a cough. By Friday, his nose was running, and he was still coughing, but only this time, he spiked a temperature to 103. Annnnnddd then he decided to stop eating. This is how its been all weekend. This is how he still is today (his fever breaking for several hours now and then). I'm going crazy and losing my shit because there is nothing I can do for him. Nothing. Consequently, this is the first time Ryder has ever spiked a temperature. I guess I'm lucky in that area.

Again, as a nurse, I know what can happen if he continues on this course of not eating, with fevers, and a cough like a 40 year old smoker. I've seen little kids go home from the hospital with traches after coming down with RSV. I've heard of a little cousin of Ryder's whose actually had a febrile seizure. I don't want any of this for my son, but there is nothing I can do except wait and see...and THAT DRIVES ME FUCKING MAD!!!! FUCKING MAD THAT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. I can only just watch him deteriorate in front of my eyes. Watch him go from 5 eight oz. bottles a day to ten oz. TOTAL a day. Watch him lose weight, watch his lips get dry and cracked, watch his wet diaper count dwindle from 6 a day to 1 a day, watch him cry deliriously, watch him push the bottle away, watch him spit up his Tylenol and Motrin, watch him spike a fever again, and listen to his lungs go from "clear throughout" to "course with upper airway wheezing". If I could throw something right now I would. If I could SCREAM right now I would. But I won't. He's sleeping. I've GOT to keep it together. I'm losing my shit for him.

We've been in touch with the pediatrician all weekend. Today we finally brought him in. It turns out that he has a slight ear infection, so he's on antibiotics now. If he can keep it down. His lungs also are sounding terrible, so he's on a course of steroids, to reduce the swelling. We go back in on Friday to see how he's progressed. I hope to god he's better by then.

Thank you to those who have called me and told me to calm down. You know who you are. I wouldn't be here, holding it together for Ryder, if it weren't for you. Thank you too to the wonderful husband, who's been amazing taking care of the little guy with a respiratory infection, and the wife with a mental illness.

Shew. I feel much better now. I know I can't keep Ryder in a bubble to protect him from all the nastiness that is flying around. And I'm thankful that Ryder truly isn't an immunocompromised kid to begin with. Not that I know of anyway. He'll get over this just fine. But next time people, if your child MIGHT be sick, don't bring him or her to a birthday party for chrissakes. It just isn't fun. Alternatively, if he or she WAS sick a few days ago, or a week ago, give us a little heads up. I might have sanitized the toys afterwards, and maybe that might have helped. Don't worry, I don't blame anyone for Ryder's illness, I'm just a little nuts right now wondering what I could've done to prevent it, as I can't control anything that's coming down the pipe.

Perhaps it was the Holy Water this past weekend for his baptism. Perhaps he was the little devil, and he's being cleansed. Won't that be a treat for us all when he's better?