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I had an "out of body" experience today. I don't even know where to begin, the story is so long and bizarre its enough to give anyone the heebie jeebies. I'm also trying to delicately state the facts, without using any "red flag" words that might call attention to this blog. Let me just say that you should never, ever, discuss slaying people with dangerous items when you're working in a secure, protected environment.
Case in point:
My boss whom I had been working with for the last 4 months is a great guy. He's just like us. Funny, witty, smart, outspoken, sick sense of humor, confident, you know- all the things that I enjoy in people. He makes you think, he questions you on your decisions to get the full picture, and he challenges you to step up to the plate. To some, that's likeable. To others who have been living under a rock, it's like having your worst nightmare facing you everyday. Before I had started working, he already had made enemies (which boss doesn't), and three months into my working with him, they had asked him to step down as chief.
With that said, our office is pretty much divided into two camps- those that support him and his work ethic, his managment style, and everything that he stood for, and those in the other camp who just didn't get him, didn't get his logic, didn't get his sick sense of humor, and just thought of him as rude, arrogant, full of himself. I was in his camp. I supported him, I got him. I mean, he's Hispanic. Need I say more?
Today was supposed to be his last day at work. One of my coworkers and I had sabotaged his office door handle with hand cream so that when he unlocked it, and went to open his office, he'd get a handful. That's the kind of relationship we had. We had the kind of relationship that, with enough convincing, he was going to buy a PS3 so we could keep in touch after his last day, and- being a gamer, he was all into it. So was my coworker. The three of us had many discussions on how to get more goodies when playing Call of Duty, how to slice people, and how I hated when friends of mine would hide in tall buildings and peg me in the head with one of those "scopeweaponsthatblowyourheadupatlongrangedistances".
As his last day drew near, that's all the three of us would talk about, when we did have time to talk. I mean, who hasn't ever said, "What are they gonna do? Fire me? I've got nothing to lose". Whenever he was up to something, that's what he'd say. We all exchanged call names, and pestered each other about who was the wimpiest.
He never showed up today.
I knew that he was on his way in- he was buying us coffee and had emailed me and said that his ETA was 15 minutes. He still never made it into his office. We peeked into it after a 9am meeting, and his office was stripped down so that there was nothing left but dust. That's not like how I saw it at 8am. His computer was gone, all of his final personal things, just gone. Poof. Weeiiirrrdddd. Creepy actually. We had nothing left to do but speculate about what the hell had happened to him.
At 1pm, we were all called into a mandatory meeting and briefed by forces that support the forces. They updated us on the "situation". Our boss had been stopped at the gate at 830am, where they pulled him over, and searched his car, and had him escorted to police headquarters. Where they questioned him some more. Then they told us: "An individual has come forward and stated that they were fearing for their safety today. We thank you for contacting us, but at this time, we do not believe that you are in any danger. He will not be returning to base, and his keys to this office have been confiscated. We thank you for your dilegence- in today's day and age, you never know." This certain individual had also mentioned that my boss had "nothing to lose". WHATBUNCHAGARBAGE.
Someone in opposition of my boss had mentioned that he was talking about a "scopethatblowsyourheadupatlongrangedistances". That's just my code word. Ask me later what dangerous item was mentioned...
"Holy shit" is all that I could think of. My coworker and I turned sheet white. We looked at each other, and we both knew that perhaps they might be coming for us next. I mean, we were the only ones in the office that I know of- talking about this game, and its weapons. But no one came to us. No one questioned us. We deduced that this individual knew we were just talking about a game, and just had it out for my boss. Way to kick the guy out of your office, for Christ sake. What a fuckin way to go.
I guess I won't be saying anything like, "ima slice you in the asshole" anytime soon. Some people just wouldn't get that. But jesus, really- how scary is that? Be careful in your work place, folks. Some people just don't get it.
They should get out and meet some of my friends.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Call of Duty is NOT a Topic That Should be Discussed at Work
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I've Been Tired All Week and Have Nothing to Say....
Except this:
1. Sandy St. Paul 2. Smokey Crestview 3. Pasta Woods 4. Lucky Larson 5. Spanky Wynbrook 6. Goldie Lochview 7. Whitey Church 8. Blue Brooklyn 9. Clementine Cedarhurst 10. Evon Burdock 11. Rex Cedarhurst 12. Socks Lochview 13. Spot Oscar Arellano | a. Blue Ryder b. Beefcake c. The Sherpa d. Man in Basement e. Man in Basement's sister f. The Dentist g. Sassy Pants h. Freakishly Tall Husband i. Browser Metrics j. Capitol Swell k. Eversleuthingfortastyplacestoeat l. Dylan's Daddy m. Foodie Monster |
Can you guess what they are? If you already know what they are, then who are they? Have fun matching them.....
OK. Back to Call of Duty.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
The Boys Are Down....
The Freakishly Tall Husband has been hit. I've been dodging vomit for two days now! Awesome. Blue and I are the only survivors. Everyone take cover...it may be headed to your neck of the woods.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
His Health was Short-lived
Ryder's perfect health lasted a whole ten days.
He got some crazy stomach virus after day care yesterday. When we picked him up from school, he seemed completely fine. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner, and had his bath. At around 8pm, he starts the vomiting. Just puking water. He's shaken, but not beaten, and continues to play until about 10 minutes later, and he pukes all over again. He pukes four more times after that, and we put him to sleep in our bed. And then, every half an hour, pretty much like clock work- he'd wake up, cough, gag, dry heave some foam (cause there's just nothing left), cry, and pass out again for another half an hour- only to do that until 4am...and its at that time, he's beaten. He passes out for the rest of the night.
He's up again at 630, crying for water. Who wouldn't? After having played "exorcist" all night long with your parents, I mean, who wouldn't want a drink of water??
Man, I tell you. Parenting is tough going. Every time he puked last night, it was like my heart was being shredded by a razor (are you guys tired of hearing that analogy or what? I know I am). There's just so much damn love in me for him, that I can't help but LOSE MY SHIT when he gets sick. And its those damn eyes of his that gets me. Whenever he looks at me to just HELP HIM UNDERSTAND what's going on, all I can say over and over is, "don't be scared, mommy's here"..as he pukes foam into my hands while his body is contorted in a painful vomiting position. "Don't be scared, its OK....mommy is here" is coming out of my mouth, while "Jesus Christ, please help him stop" is bouncing over and over in my brain.
He's napping now. He's doing better today, and we've been giving him liquids and dry foods to him slowly again. So far so good. One day at a time.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Ryder and Izzy
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Trust Your Instincts
I'm probably going to have this backfire right into my face, but for the last week, Ryder has been completely snot and cough free. Incredible. This is huge because, as some of you are well aware, Ryder has been struggling with a horrible cough and runny nose that has haunted him for four months. All the doctors that we have been to has mentioned reactive airway disease- and have consistently attempted to put him on daily asthma medication. We took the prescriptions, and have had them just in case, but we never gave him one puff of anything.
I've always thought that Ryder did not have any issues breathing. Sure, he's had a nagging cough, and has had a few fevers over the past few weeks- enough to put me over the edge- I mean, I've toyed with the idea of NOT having any more kids!! I mean, ME?? Reconsider the idea of having two children?? Impossible. But yes, when Ryder gets a fever, my world stops. But anyway- this last round of sickness brought him a runny nose, a fever, and another round of coughing. The doc put him on Zithromax this time. It worked. He's been amazing this last week- or maybe it's because the Sherpa left town??
In any case, what I'm trying to say is, if you feel deep down, in your gut, that something's not right with a diagnosis, always question it. My husband and I went back and forth. One week, I'd want to break down and give him a puffer. The next week, I was over it, but then it was my husband's turn to want to give it to him, and at the very least, give him his prescribed Singulair. But all the while, his lungs sounded good. And we held strong. Daily asthma meds for a nearly two year old boy just can't be any good. He never got any puff of anything, and now he's doing better than he has in four months.
But, like I said. This is all probably going to blow up in my face, and next week he'll get sick again. And that's OK. He's in day care with his little friends. As long as he can breathe, and doesn't have a fever, I'm now OK with it.
Wooohooo! Bring on the next baby. Many of you have told me that it would be impossible for me not to have two children. Ok. I believe you now. I'll just need some help convincing the freakishly tall husband- he's not so keen on the idea after having seen several meltdowns when Ryder gets sick. But- you've all told me that two would make me lighten up on Ryder. OK. I'll give it go. God help us if we miscarry again, but that's another blog post. That fear will always be looming.
But hell. One day at a time. Ryder's healthy!! HURRAAYYY!!! 
Look how CRAZY they are!!! Look at the cutie with the upside down glasses. That's Ryder's girlfriend. Well, look at Ryder. I wonder what he's thinking....
Thursday, January 3, 2008
The Sexiest Song to Ever Come Around
Don't even open this YouTube video unless you have 5 minutes of your time. And when you do, focus on it, take a listen, and tell me what you think.
It's My Turn Again
So, the Man in the Basement has stumped me with a song. I'm not sure where to go from here, but as I've been rummaging through my play lists for the perfect follow-up to one of his songs, I stumbled across this one on YouTube. Not what you might expect, but I sat back and listened quietly. Just listened. Closed my eyes, and opened them, and closed them, and opened them, and just fell in love with the simple melody of this powerful song. I had forgotten how much this song moved me.
Remember it, and enjoy.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Hello 2008!
MANGO MINT SPARKLERS
Serves 6
Active Time: 15 minutes Start to finish: 1 1/4 hr
Brunch is a wonderful time to indulge in this refreshing Mimosa alternative. It's important to use pure mango nectar here (though it may not be labeled "pure"); nectar mixed with other fruit juices or high-fructose corn syrup makes the drink too sweet.
1/4 cup packed fresh mint leaves
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
3 cups pure mango nectar, chilled
1 bottle Moscato d'Asti sparkling wine or sparkling water, chilled
Garnish: cucumber spears and fresh mint leaves
* Crush mint leaves with lime juice in a bowl with a pestle or wooden spoon until bruised and beginning to break up. Stir in mango nectar, then chill, covered, at least 1 hour.
*Pour mango mixture through a sieve into a large glass measure, discarding solids, then pour about 1/2 cup mango mixture into each 6 (10-ounce) glasses and top off with Moscato d'Asti (or sparkling water).
Cook's note: Mango mixture can be chilled, covered, up to 1 day.
From The Best of Gourmet: The World at Your Table- A Year of International Flavors; 2006 Conde' Nast Books
It always ends this way. Hazy, hurried, rush of Christmas, our Anniversary, and New Year's, and then POOF. Silence. A welcomed silence, but a sad one.
Thinking of all of you who came and left...can't wait to see you again. Those that live here....can't wait to see you again either. After maybe about four days. Just give me four days.
Cheers peeps. Here's to you, here's to us, and here's to a great New Year.