Call of Duty is NOT a Topic That Should be Discussed at Work

I had an "out of body" experience today. I don't even know where to begin, the story is so long and bizarre its enough to give anyone the heebie jeebies. I'm also trying to delicately state the facts, without using any "red flag" words that might call attention to this blog. Let me just say that you should never, ever, discuss slaying people with dangerous items when you're working in a secure, protected environment.

Case in point:

My boss whom I had been working with for the last 4 months is a great guy. He's just like us. Funny, witty, smart, outspoken, sick sense of humor, confident, you know- all the things that I enjoy in people. He makes you think, he questions you on your decisions to get the full picture, and he challenges you to step up to the plate. To some, that's likeable. To others who have been living under a rock, it's like having your worst nightmare facing you everyday. Before I had started working, he already had made enemies (which boss doesn't), and three months into my working with him, they had asked him to step down as chief.

With that said, our office is pretty much divided into two camps- those that support him and his work ethic, his managment style, and everything that he stood for, and those in the other camp who just didn't get him, didn't get his logic, didn't get his sick sense of humor, and just thought of him as rude, arrogant, full of himself. I was in his camp. I supported him, I got him. I mean, he's Hispanic. Need I say more?

Today was supposed to be his last day at work. One of my coworkers and I had sabotaged his office door handle with hand cream so that when he unlocked it, and went to open his office, he'd get a handful. That's the kind of relationship we had. We had the kind of relationship that, with enough convincing, he was going to buy a PS3 so we could keep in touch after his last day, and- being a gamer, he was all into it. So was my coworker. The three of us had many discussions on how to get more goodies when playing Call of Duty, how to slice people, and how I hated when friends of mine would hide in tall buildings and peg me in the head with one of those "scopeweaponsthatblowyourheadupatlongrangedistances".

As his last day drew near, that's all the three of us would talk about, when we did have time to talk. I mean, who hasn't ever said, "What are they gonna do? Fire me? I've got nothing to lose". Whenever he was up to something, that's what he'd say. We all exchanged call names, and pestered each other about who was the wimpiest.

He never showed up today.

I knew that he was on his way in- he was buying us coffee and had emailed me and said that his ETA was 15 minutes. He still never made it into his office. We peeked into it after a 9am meeting, and his office was stripped down so that there was nothing left but dust. That's not like how I saw it at 8am. His computer was gone, all of his final personal things, just gone. Poof. Weeiiirrrdddd. Creepy actually. We had nothing left to do but speculate about what the hell had happened to him.

At 1pm, we were all called into a mandatory meeting and briefed by forces that support the forces. They updated us on the "situation". Our boss had been stopped at the gate at 830am, where they pulled him over, and searched his car, and had him escorted to police headquarters. Where they questioned him some more. Then they told us: "An individual has come forward and stated that they were fearing for their safety today. We thank you for contacting us, but at this time, we do not believe that you are in any danger. He will not be returning to base, and his keys to this office have been confiscated. We thank you for your dilegence- in today's day and age, you never know." This certain individual had also mentioned that my boss had "nothing to lose". WHATBUNCHAGARBAGE.

Someone in opposition of my boss had mentioned that he was talking about a "scopethatblowsyourheadupatlongrangedistances". That's just my code word. Ask me later what dangerous item was mentioned...

"Holy shit" is all that I could think of. My coworker and I turned sheet white. We looked at each other, and we both knew that perhaps they might be coming for us next. I mean, we were the only ones in the office that I know of- talking about this game, and its weapons. But no one came to us. No one questioned us. We deduced that this individual knew we were just talking about a game, and just had it out for my boss. Way to kick the guy out of your office, for Christ sake. What a fuckin way to go.

I guess I won't be saying anything like, "ima slice you in the asshole" anytime soon. Some people just wouldn't get that. But jesus, really- how scary is that? Be careful in your work place, folks. Some people just don't get it.

They should get out and meet some of my friends.